Our Covenant

• Commitment to Peacemaking and Reconciliation
• Commitment to Preserving Marriages
• Commitment to Accountability and Church Discipline
• We Invite You to Become a Member of Our Church

1. A believer and unbeliever should not marry (1 Cor. 7:39; 2 Cor. 6:14-15).

2. Since death breaks the marriage bond (Rom. 7:2-3; 1 Cor. 7:39), remarriage is permissible without sin for a believing widow or widower, if the marriage is with another believer.

3. Divorce may be permitted when a spouse decisively and physically deserts the relationship; commits repeated, unrepentant adultery; or is guilty of protracted, unrepentant life-endangerment (1 Cor. 7:15; Mat. 19:9; 1 Cor. 7:11). We do not believe that divorce must be the last word. Even after long periods of separation and alienation, reconciliation can happen, as when the people of God return to the Lord after periods of waywardness. (Hosea 2:14-23)

We want to emphasize that the phrase “divorce may be permitted” holds out the possibility that inquiry may reveal that the deserted partner engaged in a wrong behavior that drove the other away, so that a change is called for at home rather than divorce. And we want to stress that forgiveness and reconciliation between sinning spouses is preferable to separation or divorce even where adultery has occurred. This is implied in Matthew 18:21-22, “Then Peter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.’” (see Luke 17:3-4)

4. The remarriage of a divorced spouse may be viewed as severing the former marriage so that the unmarried spouse whose behavior did not biblically justify being divorced may be free to remarry a believer (Matthew 19:9), if he or she has confessed all known sin in the divorce, and has made significant progress in overcoming any destructive behaviors and attitudes. 

Recognizing the honest and devout differences of conviction in the church; those of us with more limiting standards for remarriage consent at this point not to make them normative for the whole body. Others of us, who regard this fourth statement as fully biblical, respect those among us with a more limiting interpretation and do not require or expect them to act in any way against their consciences in attending, supporting, or performing enactments of marriage they regard as contrary to Scripture.

All of us urge every member who contemplates remarriage to struggle in prayer and study with all the relevant Scriptures, with the aim of glorifying God through full obedience to His Word and consider fairly the arguments against remarriage and those for it.

Moreover, we want to affirm the goodness and beauty of a life of singleness in God’s service both before marriage and after divorce or death. It is commended in 1 Corinthians 7:7, 11, 32-35, and elevated by the examples of Jesus and Paul and hundreds of great single saints.

5. After serious efforts have been made toward reconciliation, the aggrieved partner referred to in Guideline #3 may, together with the leadership of the church, come to regard the marriage as irreparably broken. In such cases, remarriage may be a legitimate step, if taken with serious reckoning that this cuts off all possibility of a reconciliation that God may yet be willing to produce. (See Guideline #7). 

6. The aggrieving partners referred to in Guideline #3 (who were guilty of abandonment, adultery, or life-endangerment) should repent and be reconciled to God and to their spouses (1 Corinthians 7:11; 1 John 1:9). If it is too late because their spouses have remarried, then they should remain single because they left their first marriage without a biblical warrant (Matthew 19:9; Luke 16:18; 1 Corinthians 7:11). 

7. If a second marriage ends in death or divorce, the widow or widower, in this case, is not permitted to return to the first spouse in marriage (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). 

8. The amount of time that has passed and the change in standing from unbeliever to believer does not alter the application of the guidelines for divorce and remarriage. (See Matthew 19:4-6, which highlights the fact that enduring marriages are part of God’s plan for all His human creation, not just His redeemed people.)

1. Unless indicated otherwise, the words “we” and “us” refer to both the members and leaders of Briarwood.
2. When we use the term “leader” in these Commitments, we are referring to the pastors – elders of our church.
3. See www.Peacemaker.net/risk_management for information on how these Commitments can help to prevent conflict and reduce exposure to legal liability in our church. 
4. Embracing these Relational Commitments does not imply that you affirm each and every explanatory comment, biblical interpretation, or resource mentioned in this document, but rather that you agree to support and follow the specific action steps set forth in sections entitled “Commitment to ….” If your conscience prevents you from affirming a particular concept or commitment in this document, you may request a special waiver of that provision.
5. See www.Peacemaker.net/charitable_judgments for more information.
6. See www.Peacemaker.net/slippery_slope for information on biblical mediation and arbitration.
7. Nothing in this section (Commitment to Peacemaking and Reconciliation) requires individuals to relinquish any legal rights. It simply affirms that each of us is committed to obeying God’s teaching in passages like Matthew 18:16, Ephesians 4:1-3, Rom. 12:18, and 1 Corinthians 6:1-8 and will make every biblically appropriate effort to resolve our differences within the body of Christ before resorting to any other processes, including civil litigation.
8. For example, it is not uncommon for a person to attend a church, develop relationships of trust, persuade people to give him money to invest, and then fail to return the money as promised. When such sinful men are discovered, they may leave the church, but continue to prey on members who have not heard about their schemes. If our leaders found such a man in our church, they would call him to repent and confess his wrongs. If he refused, they would bring him under formal discipline, and also warn the congregation not to trust him with their money.
9. If our leaders inform our entire congregation about a disciplinary situation, they have discretion whether to divulge the member’s name. This decision usually will depend on a variety of factors, such as how widely known the situation already is, whether there might be people in the congregation who could persuade the member to repent, or whether the congregation needs to be on guard against potential harm he or she might cause (see previous footnote). Even if our leaders decide it is not necessary to identify a member specifically, they may still inform the congregation of the general situation and the disciplinary steps they have followed. This general information can help warn people who may be flirting with secret sin that they, too, may face discipline if they do not turn back to God.
10. For example, if we confronted a man in our church for seducing young women, or for acting inappropriately around little children, or for sowing gossip and division, and he left and started attending another church, we would consider it our duty to urge the leaders of that church to counsel with him and to protect their people from his harmful behavior.